Thursday

Thursday was a big day. We drove five hours north to the Copperbelt region to join the Church of Central Africa’s (CCAP) Synod meeting. Kari, our site coordinator, was to present her Christian Education curriculum for approval and it was a chance to meet the leadership of YAV and PCUSA’s partner, CCAP. As soon as we got to the conference center, folks came straight up to meet us. I wanted to practice my Nyanja so I used their greeting, “Muli Bwanji?”, which means “How are you?”  I did well, but this Zambian greeting doesn’t ask for names or introduce your own so I had no idea who I had just met. When another man joined our party, and the man next to me introduced me as “his daughter,” it finally sunk in that the jovial person to my left was indeed, the Rev. Daniel Tembo, my host father and pastor for the next year. To be called daughter meant I was welcomed and while I didn’t get the chance to spend much time with him the rest of that day or the next, his good nature, his humor, his kindness was plain and I am so excited to meet the rest of his family and be apart of it for the next year. When he received a “football” as a donation for his youth group, he hammed it up on the way to his seat by pretending to kick his way along.

We also received our job descriptions that day! I finally got a glimpse of what I will be doing!!! Oh my lord, will it be busy year, but for the most part I am excited. I will be teaching 5^th and 6^th grade English and 8^th grade English and History. I will teach about three classes a day and I will receive the national curriculum to base my classes. That last part was truly relieving to hear. I have yet to get my hands on it, but knowing I will not have to go in with nothing is extremely reassuring.

Finally, we were honored with a private Zambian meal. The staple Zambian meal is nshima, which is a white corn meal mush that is served with relishes and meat. The portions are huge! They served us rounded bowls worth of nshima, plenty for two people or more. I enjoyed the meal and found it fun to get my hands dirty at the dinner table!  We got to eat with the leaders of the synod, including the moderator and the vice moderator. The next day we shared lunch with the woman who chairs the community school committee and who was very involved with starting the initiative in CCAP. She was also the first woman ordained in CCAP. Quite an honor!

I pack up for the trip and I finally had the feeling that I was welcomed and wanted in Zambia. I thought to myself, “I can do this Zambia thing!”

First day in Words and Phrases

First day in Zambia

In Words and Phrases

I’m not quite able to process or know the significance of my experiences yet. These incomplete sentences are meant to portray this while showing how full and dynamic even this first day in Zambia was.

Wake up call to get to the shower in time before the water was shut off. Sun hitting tropical plants and brown dust. French toast. My mom’s long hippie skirt.  Muli Bwanji. Bwino Bwanji. Left arm on right arm when shaking hands. GREET EVERYONE. Walking. Around seminary. Around students home. Around empty, unfinished chapel. Around homes of Mission Co-workers. Onto the street. So many long skirts. The wrap around skirts that I forgot the name of but women wear and use to carry babies. Staring. Loud music. Packed Mini-buses. Garbage. Burning garbage smell. Hello. Hi. Will you be my language partner? Do you want to buy this. People everywhere. Kids with no shoes riding bikes. Sick looking dogs. Hand waving. Five privileged white people in a sea of black people. Junk food. Donut hole looking things. Roasted corn. Bottled drinks. Little stands on the side of the road. Giggling little girl. Weeping boy. Tell about you best moment in life. Drawing a blank. Holding back tears. Persevering. So many logistics. So many questions I don’t even know to ask. Driving on left side. Not many parking spots. Expats. Deli. YUMMY sandwich and salad and cupcake. Can eat veggies because it is an expat place.  Dust. Painted advertisements. Walls.  Mall. Wait, am I back in America? No, that’s not a McDonalds, it is a Hungry Lion. Cell phone. Dongo (hotspot). Grocery store. Kwatcha. Whoa, now I’m going to have to do math when I buy stuff.  Move in. Unpack. Pack again. Dinner. Hospitality. Share fears and uneasiness. Culture Shock. Separation Anxiety. Excitement. People want us here. Comfy bed.

Lazy Days

I am feeling pretty darn good tonight. First, this morning on my run I passed a turkey, and if you know me, you might know that I was chased by a turkey one summer day in rural Wisconsin as I was training for the Chicago marathon. I've been scared of most fowl beasts since that time and alway avoid them when passing them in Madison's Arboretum. This morning a big ol' feathered friend was stoically standing in a Stony Point lawn. We made eye contact, I kept running, and I laughed to myself that in this moment and in the moments to come in my YAV year, I will face my fears, have courage, and go on. Take that turkey!!! (Also you tasted delicious at the thanksgiving dinner tonight! :))

Then I conquered another fear. Throughout the week, I ignored the talent show sign up hanging on the wall in our meeting space, while secretly practicing a song in my room and really wanting to sign up. Hours before the show and after the sign up sheet was taken down, the organizers still allowed me in the line up! It's amazing to think that just six days can create a loving community. Every single act, which included African dance, Korean song, duets, solos--every single act got this roaring ovation before and after they performed. I've heard lots of clapping in my life, but these hands were making noises that cheered their fellow YAVs to share their talents not only this night, but every day in next eleven months. The energy was electrifying! Finally my name was called, and I told the crowd that the song I was singing was called Lazy Days. I told them I wasn't sure how many lazy days we were going to have in the next year, but we had talked about self care in our session earlier in the day, and God rested on the seventh day, so that had to count for something. ;) Then I said, this song is about those moments where time stops, where you are happy just to be looking into someone's eyes. This song was for a guy I left in Wisconsin. 

And away I went with the guitar music on my iPod. And during Dylan's amazing, but amazingly long solo, I strummed my air guitar with my pick necklace. 

It was perfect. I feel loved by the people around me here. And I feel loved at home.

Disorientation

YAV orientation is alive and well in Stony Point, NY! Or, I should say disorientation, as the YAV staff  likes to call this week that prepares us to turn our lives upside down in an attempt to live out their tenets of living simply, in community, across cultures. About ninety YAVs are here including some the program's first international volunteers coming to serve in the United States, many from Korea. My departure from Wisconsin went smoothly, marked simultaneously with budding excitement and twelve hours of tears. I ached with feelings that I left my heart on Huntington Street and in the bottom bunk of the upstairs room in 2119, but slowly centered in on new spaces coming alive within myself.

Our days are filled with trainings, information, songs, worship, small group time, and some seriously good food! The conference center strongly believes in food sustainability and grows most of their vegetables on site, which yields some delectable fresh and healthy meals! We've also gotten to hear a lot from YAV Alumni (aka YAVAs) who are both our small group leaders and have shared their experiences and stories with the whole group during worship.

The trainings and the stories from the YAVAs all stress that this year will be an awakening: to the major challenges of our society and the exploitation of power worldwide. We've also talked a lot about our own power as volunteers. We have the power to take this time in our lives to do service for a year. We have power in the way people will view our education, our economic status, even the color of our skin. What will we do with this power?

Our music leader sermonized to us the first night, saying that we are called to do impossible things, and to fail at them, to mess up, and to make mistakes. This is genuine life. The messiness of relationships, of learning something new, of encountering new cultures. But in taking on the impossible and living in the mess, we embody and promote hope for the world. Hope motivates and sustains, but doesn't erase the hardships. This seems like a very authentic way to view the world, and one in which allows us to love each other better instead of becoming overprotective and freaking out that things are going wrong.

I'm struggling with expectations for this year. How much will I really make a difference? Is it possible? If I accept the messiness theory, am I giving up? I will continue to think about this paradox of accepting the mess of the world, but not just standing by and watching it progress in its misery. More to come, folks!

Ps. LOVE YOU ALL AT HOME!!!! MISSING YOU ALREADY!

Recognitions!

A week from today I will get on plane and say goodbye to my lovely Wisconsin. A week from today this adventure begins.

It's been a jam-packed summer that started with nannying and then filled in with glorious family and friend time, bringing me to and fro from Madison, to Milwaukee, to Crystal Lake and even Door County!

One thing that didn't occupy a huge amount of my time was fundraising for my YAV year! Thanks to the true generosity of so many, I easily and quickly reached my goal! I am in awe of how easily so many of you lent your resources to make this dream possible. I dedicate my work in Zambia to all of you, hoping I can live up to the acts of goodness you showed me with your support! If you still want to donate, please do! YAV is an amazing organization that is supporting young people changing the world everyday. Even consider making the organization a regular charity you support!

I'm sitting here in my Madison studio apartment, stripped bare, left with only boxes, an empty bookshelf, two mattresses on the floor, and empty hangers in the closet. Since last Sunday, I have slowly packed away my life into boxes and then vans. This includes my own stuff, but also my boyfriend, Dylan's, and our respective roommates.  It's been a great excuse to spend time with each other and I am wholeheartedly happy to help but, I can't ignore the gnawing feelings of sadness and loss this process has brought. Each box I carry out to the car symbolizes my friends and I moving on with our lives and out of Madison. The soreness in my arms reminds me that change is upon me. And I am sad!

Now, I am so thankful for and excited about my year in Zambia! I am! I am! I am! And I will live into all the opportunities starting next week Monday! But I want to take a few moments to recognize what I am leaving behind. Because I love you all! I am going to miss you all! And I want to wish you the best!

First, my awesome, amazing, coolest dude on the planet little bro is starting HIGH SCHOOL! He is now 5'11", folks, and I just hope I recognize him when I get home next July! People are betting he'll be taller than me by then, but we'll see…(I've always maintained that the big sister will remain on top, but alas, his doctor doesn't agree…she says he'll be 6'3"…) I wish him the best as he starts marching band (a year early in the advanced band), tries out volleyball, and then decides between basketball, track, tennis, and whatever high school opportunities he may find! Live it up, lil man! I love you! You better send me homecoming pics!!

Next, if you didn't know, I fell in love with this one-of-kind, caring, goofy, hardworking guy named Dylan Rounds over a year ago.  I am scared and excited about what this next year has in store for us. Dylan has been so supportive of my wish to serve abroad that many times over this past year, I've thought, no way, this guys is too awesome, I should just stay here. But the itch to go remained, and Dylan says he's not going to be the guy to hold me back. So here I go. Across the world. And I am just hoping and praying that we take this year as gift to learn more about who we are as individuals, while still remaining connected. I want to stretch my muscles of adventure, but I do very much, so very much hope, that the same guy who won't hold me back today, will hold me again in a year! And I can hold him!

Last but certainly not least, I've got the most supportive parents a girl could ask for; I've got a brother and sister in law who have just started a new life in Colorado; I've got grandparents who I will miss terribly; I have friends moving in NYC for grad school; friends moving in together; friends working full time at new "real person" jobs; a cousin living on her own on Milwaukee's east side, friends doing Americorps and second years at internships; more cousins, aunts and uncles; so many people near and far! I want you all to know I love you and I will miss you!